Category: Dating and Relationships
Times are changing but the double standards between men and women still exists. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with these double standards? Is it based on gender differences or is it based on how our society perceives both genders?
Yes I agree, but probably not in the ways you think.
I grew up through the 1980s when a lot of good came from and for women: Equal Rights Amendment, sexual harassment laws, etc.
However, in many ways women want to be equal but more equal than others. Not all women of course, there are plenty of reasonable, hard-working people out there both men and women.
But here's what I mean:
If a man has an affair, he's inconsiderate, a pig, boorish whatever.
If a woman has an affair, she's just getting her needs met.
If a man takes some of his own vacation time to take care of a family matter, say a sick kid, he's "milkin' it".
If a woman needs personal time, we are all expected to understand.
If a man goes back on his word, he's dishonest and untrustworthy.
If a woman goes back on her word, she's just complicated, because women are emotional and can't be expected to say what they mean or mean what they say.
If a man wants sex more often than a woman wants it, he's a pig, inconsiderate, and according to some, testosterone-poisoned.
If a woman has sexual needs and her male partner is impotent or for whatever reason can't oblige, she is free to do whatever.
If an older man dates a younger woman, he's an animal.
If an older woman dates a younger man, she's helping him come of age.
If a man kills his wife / kids he;s an animal and the jury (rightfully so) gives him the death penalty.
If a woman kills her husband / kids, she has postpardum depression, she has issues, the (now dead) kids have to understand (in the case of Susan Smith I guess they do that understanding from the bottom of a lake).
So now what: If postpardum depression = murder now what will happen to all those poor women who just have the depression but weren't going to act out on it? When they seek much-needed assistance from medical people, family and friends what'll they get for this supposed understanding? Will we take their kids away? After all, if "issues" are a reason for murder, we can't put innocent life into the hands of someone with "issues," or we take part of the responsibility for that child's death.
If I were a woman, I'd be outraged at the possibilities.
Women are made out to be a special case, they need all sorts of exceptions everywhere, nothing can ever apply to them, I don't think this is what most of you want.
I really hate to agree with some wackos out there, but it's the feministas who have done this to you.
Even wackos can be right once in awhile: hell, a stopped clock is right once a day.
Now ... parts of the world where women really are oppressed, or single mothers in this country who can't get ahead because a deadbeat guy refuses to pay / would rather go jobless than have his wages garnished, now that's a different issue. They, battered women and others like them need all the help the rest of us can give them, and then some for good measure.
However, if a man were to act as neurodic, resentful, and all the other characteristics labeled as female by both some women and many supposed experts on the topic, no sensible woman would have them.
But we men are a pack of fools: We have 'em.
The people I honestly feel sorry for most, not guys my age who got the shaft, but real honest hardworking women who wouldn't dream of milking they system, bawling and complaining because they get a hangnail one minute while trying to play strong the next, or say one thing and change their mind the next, and then throw a fit because nobody takes them at their word.
Nope, it's the sensible ones I really feel sorry for, because they're the ones pulling the load on account of the other neurotic freaked-out types.
I've a relative whose separated from her husband rightn now and has twin babies she's caring for. She has very limited resources, and yet the way she handles things, I truly believe she's one of the bravest, most courageous people I know. And yet, I can turn my head or look elsewhere and see a woman with two cars, one kid, hubby works so she can live the lifestyle, and all she can do is complain complain complain. Wants a gentleman who will treat her like a princess, but in reality wants to roar whenever she wants, work is only a choice, and why isn't he home more? And if he is, but she really wants this or that ...
Their world is an illusion.
So yeah, there are double standards. Shoot me ... "Happiness is a Warm Gun".
I see what you mean by the reverse double standards, Leo. You are right on the money. I'm all for equality, but that means equal responsibilities as well as equal rites. Too many women forget that, and do themselves no favors by seeking to be superior to men. As you say, they actually make our gender look worse, and that really makes me mad. Double standards are not acceptable, on either side of the fence.
I can only nod leo gardeon :).
There are battered women out there, but there are also attention seekers who are just taking advantage of the fact that society is finally starting to become more understanding of women in general. As sister Dawn said, we women should have equal rights, but equal rights come with equal responsibilities. If a woman does something wrong, she should be treated the same as if a man had done the same thing, end of story. Like Leo guardian said, there are plenty of women who don't act on their depression, so those who do really don't have an excuse. Actions have consequences, and if men are expected to understand that, so should women.
And let's not forget that guys don't have it all that easy, either. I do believe there are men who struggle with depression, but far fewer men seek help for it, because they'd be branded as wusses, etc. That, pull yourself up by your boot straps mentality still seems to be in full effect where society thinks of men. On that same emotional vein, it's acceptable for women to cry. But if a guy shows any tears, he's branded a sissy, never mind that men have emotions too. And then women bitch about how they want guys who are more sensitive, when that sensitivity is scorned by society if a guy dares show it? Pretty screwed up to me.
I always encourage the guys I know to show their emotions. If you need to cry, let it out, whether you're a woman or a man.
Keep in mind I've just woke up & am on my first cup of coffee, but here goes...
I think if there are double standards in U S society, these standards favor women. And I think in some instances, to say there are double standards is in error as double standards apply when two people are inherently equal. A man & a woman are different.
An example of the first: my company still talks about a woman, when they have the yearly meeting to remind employees of the sexual harrassment policy, who was 'harassed' by a contract employee from another firm. No this wasn't right, but what gets left out, as perhaps it wasn't reported, is this woman's conduct. This was someone who, during a separation, openly spoke of the kind of relationship she fantasized about with male staff members. Once she spoke of what she wanted a certain one to do with her, em, tatas. One she said needed to "get laid". A supervisor sat nearby during all of this. Now if a man did that he would have been fired that day and the rest of us would have had to get new door keys. But a woman? Oh, she's just venting steam during a bad time, etc. I just don't think that contract employee's behaviour came out of the clear blue sky one fine day.
An example of the second statement: my lunchroom friend & I talk about current events, some of them in the middle east. When the death sentence of the Iranian woman for adultery was in the news, he would say "You know they don't sentence the guys for that." I'm sorry but my friend was in error. Now personally I don't believe in the death sentence for ANYONE for adultery, a civil matter. But there is no equality of the sexes in the matter of an adulterous relation, and my friend majored in biology so he should know the sexes are different. There are provisions for multiple wives under Islamic law, not multiple husbands. If a man has an affair, or multiple wives he may have many children, but if a woman has an affair or multiple husbands, all she can have is one child of disputed or unknown paternity. Now relations outside marriage generally don't result in good for either sex, but the possible results just aren't equal, and this is one area where it surprises me when people say, "You know guys just aren't penalized as much for this"...well, duh, polygamy goes back to the dawn of time, but polyandry just isn't as common or as beneficial. Gotta go now.
I think if anyone could set things right it will be women. First, we men can't really speak to it with the credibility fellow women have. Second, women are as equally resourceful as men are, and unlike most protected classes, they make up a majority of the population.
I'm more awake now. OK why is it when a baby occurs outside of proper planning or the desire is only there with one party women especially tend to go harder on the man? It's true it takes two to tango and there's no condom shortage I'm aware of, but let's face it most methods of control are made for the female anatomy & men can't get pregnant, so the reality of the situation is women have 99% of the responsibility for avoiding unwanted pregnancy. It seems to me when this happens, and I've known folks in that position, even women claiming equality would say "Couldn't he marry her?" or "Did he use a rubber?"
Um, rubbers break and slip and oil based products can eat right thru 'em, and some women intentionally get pregnant to try and force a marriage. Why isn't there more condemnation for such cunning women? There was actually a study I read about in GLAMOUR some years ago. When you go for your first prenatal visit, the practitioner will ask "Was this planned?". A study of the 'no's' was conducted. On further questioning, some of these women answering 'no' revealed they intentionally forgot their birth control to get a child or another child their partners didn't want. Why aren't women, except maybe by Dr Laura, not berated for using a child to fulfill their own desires or manipulate a marriage or financial settlement? It seems to me if they want to claim equality or do away with double standards, they need to accept equal responsibility for stuff like this.
I agree and have had that tried with me. She didn't get preganat thank you, but she tried and that's not fair. Now a man can't say "she told me she was on birth control." and have a judge rule that he was lied to even if the woman admits she lied. The ruling is he must support is child. I do admit that men should just be careful, but then what happens? "you don't trust me?" Smile. *sigh it's a man's world, but that's a bitch to live with.
I wonder if there's any medical way to find out if the woman was truly faithful to the birth control, and that it was a real accident, or if she just conveniently forgot to take her pill, or other such forms.
lmao this is scary. I hate condems anyways.
Raaj.
No way to tell. However I am talking about when the woman says she didn't on purpose even though she admits she told the man she was. Another situation, and a true one was a wife convinced her husband she wanted sex with plain condoms no lube and spermicide. She collected them from the trash and shared them with her lesbian lover until she got pregnat. They told him they were lovers and planned to be together, but he'd be supporting their new family. He took it to court, but lost on the grounds a man must support his off spring. If her lover had been another man he'd have had to support his new baby or it should have been that the women decided to have a baby and be a couple, so were responsible for their "new family." Equal right? Smile. I truly believe in equal rights in say the work place, and such, but I think God has set things as they should be and we'd have less struggles if both sexes assumed their roles. Women are true equal, but in the ralm of having their place in nature. Men can not bare children, can not do, or be many things a women can, and vise versa no matter what laws are created. The law as recognized women are different, and so if we'd except natural selection we'd be better off and wouldn't need all this double standards stuff. If a man understood he ws responsible for his women's activities he'd be more careful, and if a women understood she'd have to actually raise and mother her child and not get away with "mental sickness" she'd be less inclind to creat one she doesn't really want. A man walks away from a baby he is tracted down and made pay. A woman walks away from her baby the state fosters it and she is not made mother it regardless of her wishes, or go to jail. Smile.
that is so wrong!!! the last post. just Gurr!!
Wrong? How so? It was late, so type O's but???